the tree was waiting

just for me. she seemed

to be welcoming me onto

her outstretched limbs

the child of me was a tree

climber, so i let her out

just enough to help me clamber

onto a low lying branch

the oak was dressed in mosses

and lichen- a mint green lace

an emerald feather boa

and i think of course, of love.

did i throw away too much?

thinking it was his

when it was mine?

i wonder what would it be like

to fall

in love again?

 

the forest is lush and sweetness all

around me and I think

i am in love with this.

 

lovers I have found

can be self-centered

and i wonder- am i

a narcissistic lover of

the wild lands? Do i love you

for what you are?

or for what i am when i am with you.

 

but

how can i touch you

(like i long to touch you!)

if my love becomes so pure “I” disappear?

i’m not so enchanted that i want you to

annihilate me.

don’t send me a bear or a lion when

you can send me flowers instead.

 

its only when i’m love-drunk-ecstatically-flat-out

that i sometimes cry for that

white bright burning

but we don’t know each other that well

yet. so be gentle

rock me in the breeze instead

cradle me and let me stay

a child a little longer

let me tell you all my stories.

my long rambling dreams

listen to me with a serious

cock of your head. even if you suspect

that most of it i’m just

making up.

i’ll feel safe with you

maybe you can praise my tender efforts

there’s no one more beautiful

than you, i swear!

i want to give you everything

i want to throw my heart wide

open. stop pretending to be

shiny. find, and catch your eye.

i want to look at you and spill

the whole ugly story and see that

somehow, at the end.

you would still be looking back.

did i give away too much?

have i made a mess or inconvenienced

you- in any way?

shall i fold in now and let my body

go transparent?

what is loving but a wound?

 

i love this tree so much i

climb up into her deep branches

and the lacy moss

gets torn.

 

i’ve been here and

i’ve loved you

now we’re both a little more

broke open.